Yes, I’m Lonely. But that’s Life.

Yes, I’m lonely. And it strikes me during the quiet moments when I am no longer busy with work. When I finally have time to myself. I’m lonely and it’s never easy. A chill goes through me and as I look around for friends, whether on Facebook or via a text message; I realize there’s no-one replying.

I’m utterly alone. What then is the role of friends who are only there when you are needed or when times are good? Where are my friends when I now grapple with this hollow feeling?

It is said that loneliness is what drives suicide. I tend to agree, for when a human being finds that they are of no use to anyone, that they are insignificant to the point of forgotten; then death seems inviting.

I’ve heard people say that I’ve ostricised myself from the general group. True, I may have moved in such manner, but where are those whom seek me out? They too have disappeared. So blame is on me for not touching base with those around me, but have it been considered that one should also reach out to me; no matter how much I shut myself away?

So here’s the tug-of-war. Who moves first?

Yes, I’m lonely. But that’s life and everyone feels it. Yet, for me; I can safely say that at one point I meant something to a group of people or to various individuals and when the need was met, I am of no significance.

And that is the measure of friendship in the real world.

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I have depression.

I have depression. And I am a writer. Most writers, it seems, suffer from this condition of the human soul.

Yet, I find members of my tribe; putting forward some of the best in their current condition. Maybe because we are more sensitive to the human condition, or we experience more on a personal level.

I was sad but I found this article and it really helped lift my spirits up this evening.

Another writer died by her own hand, just two days ago. I got the news this morning. I cannot say I knew her — to the best of my knowledge, we never met, or exchanged e-mails, though certainly at one point or another we may have. I did not know her. But she was, nonetheless, my sister, and one of my tribe.

And she fell, as so many in my tribe fall.

Psychologists note that writers suffer from a higher-than-normal incidence of depression, that the same qualities that make us writers tend to make us more sensitive to the ups and downs of daily life. I do not know in how many cases this is true, but I know it’s true for me. I have faced the abyss of self-destruction once, when things were very bad, but managed to walk away. I’ve suffered from serious depression on a couple of other occasions, also from situations and events that were unbearable, and unfixable.

I count myself lucky to have gotten this far. Now that I’m here, though, I intend to stay. Because along the way, I’ve discovered that everything changes, and that no matter how horrible things are, they are not horrible forever. Every moment you’re breathing is an opportunity to change. If not your surroundings, your trials, your sufferings, then yourself.

From someone who has found a way to hang on even when things are terrible, I want to pass on to you what I’ve found. Because my tribe has lost enough voices and enough magic, too soon and needlessly. Don’t let it lose yours.

Full Article: Live to Write Another Day

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Dokkodo – The Path of Aloneness

Dokkodo – “The Path of Aloneness” or “The Way to be Followed Alone” by Miyamoto Musashi (1645)
  1. Accept everything just the way it is.
  2. Do not seek pleasure for its own sake.
  3. Do not, under any circumstances, depend on a partial feeling.
  4. Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world.
  5. Be detached from desire your whole life long.
  6. Do not regret what you have done.
  7. Never be jealous.
  8. Never let yourself be saddened by a separation.
  9. Resentment and complaint are appropriate neither for oneself nor others.
  10. Do not let yourself be guided by the feeling of lust or love.
  11. In all things have no preferences.
  12. Be indifferent to where you live.
  13. Do not pursue the taste of good food.
  14. Do not hold on to possessions you no longer need.
  15. Do not act following customary beliefs.
  16. Do not collect weapons or practice with weapons beyond what is useful.
  17. Do not fear death.
  18. Do not seek to possess either goods or fiefs for your old age.
  19. Respect Buddha and the gods without counting on their help.
  20. You may abandon your own body but you must preserve your honour.
  21. Never stray from the Way.